People who continue to struggle allow their circumstances and environment to dictate how they’ll eat.
Regarding environments, there exists a major difference between how lean people respond and how people who continue to struggle do. And that is this: people who struggle allow their circumstances and environment to dictate how they’ll eat. At the movies? “Well, Ihave to get popcorn!” At the office? “It’ll be rude to not eat this cake for Susie’s birthday!” At the state fair? “I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to have fried dough again, I have to get it!” And on and on.
It’s not that these things, every once in a while are “bad,” it’s just that you can’t go around all day every day reacting to your environment this way and expect to get lean.
Conversely, people who stay lean make the best choice possible wherever they end up. And they rarely feel like they’re “missing out.”
Conversely, lean people eat how they eat regardless of where they end up. Going out to dinner … doesn’t matter if they end up at McDonalds or a five-star restaurant, they know they’re getting lean protein and veggies or a salad with protein. A catered event? Instead of using the event as an excuse or “special occasion,” they do what they do, picking at mostly protein-centric apps and veggies if they can. The fact that there are rolls and butter, starchy apps and drinks doesn’t phase them because they are in the HABIT of eating how they eat.
Does this seem impossible to you???
It did to me a few years ago, too. I rolled my eyes at people who touted “moderation” and I didn’t understand people who didn’t finish everything on their plate or polish off a bag of chips if it was in front of them. I didn’t understand how someone could resist EATING IT ALL UNTIL IT WAS GONE.
I get it. I totally do.
And I’m not asking you to go from A to Z right now. That’s impossible. The idea that we can go from obsessed-with-food to moderation is absurd. I like to think about this journey like climbing a ladder. You can’t reach the top without stepping your foot on every single rung in between. That’s how adopting a lean lifestyle works.
But it begins with mindfulness. And mindfulness specifically around YOUR SITUATIONS. If you think you are a “situational eater” like I described above, just start with saying “no” one time each day. Start with that candy jar at work or skipping booze at Happy Hour. Just say no once a day until it starts getting easier (and it will, I promise). And be mindful of your environment. Ask, Am I allowing the situation to dictate my eating? Or am I eating how I eat (as a lean person)? You know what to do; you’re just caught up in the struggle to actually do it. That’s common. But, that’s also where mindfulness comes in.
I know you might be thinking, “Well, this just takes the fun right out of food, Jill!” Ha! I get that too Food is fun, right?! Besides, we likegetting popcorn at the movies. We like having cake at the office party. We like relaxing with a glass of wine at dinner.
But you know what’s even more fun? Having control over what goes in your mouth and being able to say no when opportunities to indulge arise. Staying lean with less effort. Not being obsessed with food anymore. That’s a frigging blast! And it just takes you STARTING the process. Beginning to think, act and be a lean person. Ask, Am I just eating this because it’s here? Would I consciously go out and get this if left to my own devices? The answer is usually going to be that you’re eating it because of your situation, not because you actually want it.
So, start right now. Say NO once today and stay mindful about your environments and ask yourself the tough questions. You’ll get there one meal at a time, one day at a time, I promise.
Have a fabuolus weekend. Go team USA!!!!
What a time for me to be reading this! I haven't commented for a while and that's because of the situation I've been through (and using as an excuse to eat terrrribly!). My mother just passed away unexpectedly and I honestly don't know if I've ever been so thrown in my eating/exercising habits. I was so busy and exhausted and had so much family visiting that I just ate whatever I could grab on my way from one place to another! Thank you for your diligence in posting and reminding me to not use my situation to revert back to old habits. Also, I had a question and am not even sure where to post it so I'll ask it here: I would reallly love to adapt to a more clean diet for my whole family, but where do I even begin?! Especially with my in-laws living a mile from me and constantly feeding my little ones sugar- and me constantly fighting that battle. Sometimes I just want to (and do) give up! And then I realize how miserable we all feel and act and THEN realize that I can make a big difference in how we feel just by improving our diet. I'm learning... slowly! Do you have a menu somewhere on your nutrition blog that shows roughly what you eat daily? I need some ideas of actually healthy food, but that isn't completely out of reach for someone like me who still uses regular flour and sugar, etc. Baby steps! :) I need to basically start from ground zero and work my way up. How have you learned what ingredients (types of flour, sweeteners for recipes, etc) to use?
ReplyDeleteThank you for any thoughts or advice you might have!
PS, would you recommend going to a dietician to get ideas on healthy eating for myself and family? Or is there something else (preferably cheaper) that you would say to start with? Thanks!
Oh Haley. I can't even tell you how sad I felt when I read your comment. I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time. Honestly, I can't even imagine. I hope you're taking it easy and giving yourself the space you need right now.
ReplyDeleteFirst things first. Give yourself a break girl! There are times in life when you just have to go into survival mode. Trust me. I know. My dad and my little brother both had stage 4 cancer last year at exactly the same time, and for a few months, all I could do was focus on getting from one day to the next. Very un-like me, but I was just too emotionally spent to worry a ton about what I was eating (I have pretty clean eating habits so I wasn't really eating a ton of junk, but I definitely wasn't worrying about counting macro's or anything like that). Little by little, I started getting back on track and feeling like I wanted to get back to being my vigilant self. You know, sometimes things happen and you just have to get by however you can. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Now, I do understand the "other people giving my kids crap" problem. My in laws are EXACTLY the same way. With yours living so close, I would say it's probably worth asking them to maybe just give the kids fruit leathers or something like that. Honestly though, I know how hard it can be to confront people who absolutely adore your children. I struggle with it myself: ). My theory is that as long as I know they're getting good, clean, wholesome food at home, I don't worry much about what they eat when they're not at home. I want them to learn to make healthy choices on their own, so I try to keep it about teaching them instead of controlling them.
I'll do a post on how to start making some clean changes (great idea by the way). Baby steps is right. It would be crazy to try and change everything overnight. Crazy and unsustainable. For right now, I would suggest switching to unsweetened nut butters and pure fruit jellys, and maybe trying to get your kids involved in choosing some fun breakfast cereals with less than 5g of sugar (I slowly lowered the limit to 3g - they seriously don't even know the difference and they have fun looking at food labels on the cereal boxes while we're grocery shopping). Continue to offer them an array of vegetables. They might think they don't like them but if you just keep at it, they'll come around. Try to get them involved in planning and helping prepare some fun dinners (they don't have to be complicated at all). My kids are MUCH more likely to eat dinner if they've helped make it. I'll throw in several more tips in my next post about meal planning.
And YES, I would definitely recommend seeing a dietician. Even if it's only once. They can answer questions and give great suggestions on ways to get kids to eat healthier. We saw one in December after my daughter was diagnosed with T1 Diabetes. Even as competent as I feel I am in the world of nutrition, it was awesome to be able to go over everything with a professional and get even more great ideas.
Did I answer your questions? Or did I just ramble? I think I just rambled...
Ahh.. situational eating = my biggest fail. I am pretty great about eating heathy at home, but, shoot, throw in a party or night out. And, well, why not? We don't eat out a ton, so it doesn't happen on a regular basis. But still. Not a good habit. This was a great post to read.
ReplyDeleteYou answered my questions exactly, and you made it not seem overwhelming! Hallelujah! I'm so excited to even know where to begin, and I will be taking your advice and meeting with a dietician soon. I love your idea on having kids help pick out the cereal and try to find one with less than 5g of sugar. Yikes, I just looked in my cupboard and all of ours have 9 grams! And the dinner idea? Why haven't I done this before?! It's so hard to get my kids to eat dinner, especially when it has vegetables as a main component, so I'm totally getting them more involved in planning/prepping dinner. And you're so very right about not controlling them, but teaching them to make their own good choices.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your understanding and empathy. I forget to give myself some time before I can expect myself to feel "normal" again (although, it's kind of a new normal now, not the same as before!). My mom was an amazing person, and also one of my best friends, so of course I shouldn't be expecting to feel perfectly fine right away! And yet I DO expect it, so thanks for the reminder to give myself a break. I would tell someone else to do it, but I don't expect it for myself. Go figure.
By the way, I've always wondered how your dad and brother are doing since your last cancer post, you should post an update on how that's going too! Not that you're busy at all, right?! ;)
Thank you again for taking the time to answer my questions and giving me such great ideas. I'm sure it takes a lot of precious free time to keep up your blogs and answer questions, and I truly appreciate it!
Sarah - even the girls I workout with say that. Weekends are a beast when it comes to situational eating. We don't go out to eat much either and I think it really does make a difference. I'd venture to guess you eat like a champ at least 90% of the time. That's good enough. Sometimes you've just got to have fun, right???
ReplyDeleteHaley - we really are our own harshest critics. PLEASE give yourself time to adjust to this new normal. Mourning the loss of a loved one takes a toll on you in so many ways. Even physical ways. Ease back into life at your own pace. Hang in there. Ugh!!! So hard.
ReplyDeleteI started working on a post about making healthy changes with a family. Kids complicate things a bit but it can totally be done. They'll learn a lot from the process too. It can be really fun actually! Thanks for the great post idea. It's been great for me to think through these things again.
I love Haley! And I'm totally looking forward to your post-in-the-works.
ReplyDelete