Owning Your Baggage

A few weeks ago I picked up a copy of one of the fitness magazines I read regularly.  I'm not one for beauty/glamour magazines, but the fitness oriented magazines have articles and information that I often times keep and refer back to regularly. And if you want some KILLER metabolic routines, go pick up the latest edition of Oxygen (and that is how I justify having magazines full of half-naked women lying around the house - tadaaah).  Anyway, back to my story.  As I was skimming the articles, there was one that really caught my attention.  Actually, I've been thinking about it ever since.  My husband (Ryan) and I have had several lengthy discussions about how this one little article applies to so many different aspects in life.  I'm not even sure I've come to a concrete conclusion with all of this, but I'm interested to know what you think.  

Long story short, I guess this popped up on Facebook not too long ago.

I'm not a facebooker, but apparently this caused quite a stir.  A big enough stir that this gal ended up on several news channels and talk shows in an effort to defend herself.  Now, there's no doubt in my mind that she knew some people would be bent out of shape about this when she decided to put it out there.  Honestly, I do have to say, it was a pretty bold thing to do in the name of "inspiring other people to get in shape."  Maybe not the best approach (although, it is facebook we're talking about here).  However, the reason that people were angry (and oh man, they were angry) really surprised me.  There was a reoccurring theme in many of the scathing comments.  People were mad because they assumed this woman was saying that if they didn't look like her, then they must be lazy.  They felt judged and ridiculed.  They felt like she was trying to set a standard that wasn't reasonable.  They told her she was a horrible mother because she probably spent more time at the gym than she did with her kids.  Some people even said that she is the reason girls have eating disorders.  They got all of that from one picture with the words what's your excuse written across the top.  

Okay.  Before I go on, let me say that this picture is neither motivating or un-motivating to me.  I mean, she looks absolutely fantastic, but it doesn't necessarily inspire me.  It also doesn't offend me in the slightest.  So I've had a hard time trying to figure out why so many people were SO pissed off.  After much discussion with Ryan, I've developed my theory.  The only reason I could think of that people would take offense to this is that it really did make them ask themselves the question, what IS your excuse for not exercising, eating healthfully?  And nobody likes that.  These days, people don't want to admit to themselves (or anyone else for that matter) that they have flaws and insecurities.  Just for fun, let's call it owning your baggage.  If you had owned the fact that you weren't doing everything you could do to keep your health in check (regardless of what your body looked like), that picture wouldn't bother you.  Maybe it would even inspire you to take action.  If you had owned the fact that you WERE doing everything you could do to take care of yourself and felt content with that part of your life, again, that picture wouldn't bother you.  So I think it's safe to say that the only people who would take issue with seeing something like this, are the ones who's baggage had not yet been owned.  I'm not saying that they didn't KNOW they should be doing more to be healthy.  I'm just suggesting that they probably didn't want anyone else to point it out.  And instead of coming to the realization that maybe they should re-think that part of their lives, they took offense to it and played the victim.  

I can't help but notice that the need to point fingers and claim how "wronged" we've been has infiltrated our society.  Our skin has become much too thin.  Instead of owning our baggage, we want other people to assume responsibility for our insecurities.  And we'll wait for however long it takes.  Am I right?  I'm not saying that I'm immune to this way of thinking.  But over the past few years (this past year specifically), I think I've finally started to catch on to the idea that I have much more control over my life and my happiness if I own my baggage instead of taking offense.  And trust me, I have baggage.  I've learned that once I own it, I have the power to change it if I so choose.  Are there things that are out of our control?  Yep, but we can choose how we react to those things.  Generally speaking however, I think that our lives are pretty much a reflection of the choices we make, and if I'm right about that (maybe I'm not, the jury is still out), wouldn't that mean that we can choose to change our lives?  I think yes.  Kind of empowering, no?

So, let's bring this whole idea back to the goal of becoming physically fit.  Actually, let's apply it to the idea of STICKING to the goal of becoming physically fit.  We have to stop letting our environment and the people who surround us dictate whether or not we succeed.  If you've owned the fact that you can be doing more to reach your fitness goals and achieve the body you want, you have the power to change the things that will allow that to happen.  Let other people come up reasons to be unhealthy.  Let other people point fingers and claim how "wronged" they've been. Make the decision to change your ways, and then change them.  You can choose to eat right.  You can choose to nail your workouts.  Are there going to be times that you're tempted to skimp?  You'd better believe it.  But that's when we grow the most.  When we take control of our actions and resist giving in to the things that will cause us to backslide, we gain the confidence we need to be able to do it again. And most people I talk to say that it only gets easier over time.  

Having said that, I know what it's like to "fall off the wagon."  You miss a workout or two and it makes you feel anxious.  You reach for an Oreo to soothe the anxiety, and the next thing you know, the bag (bag/box, whatever) is empty.  Guilt sets in and you start to believe that there's no reason to finish off the day with your normal healthy eating habits (here's where it gets ugly).  So...you hoover every shred of crap in the pantry before you wander off to bed.  In the morning you feel so awful, both physically and emotionally, that you decide to skip your workout.  And the downward spiral begins.  I get it.  I do.  I've done it a time or two myself.  But here's the thing.  At some point in the unraveling process, you need to be able to hit the re-set button.  That means owning your baggage (about 1/2 way through that bag of Oreos would be a good time to aim for).  You HAVE to acknowledge and then own the fact that you slipped up.  And then you have to make the choice to move on instead of giving up and reverting back to victim mode.  Victim mode sucks, but I think so many people choose it because it's the easiest way out.  It's the path of least resistance.  It takes guts to look in the mirror and acknowledge that you made a mistake, but that you learned from it and are tough enough to let it go and move on.  Have guts.  Own your baggage and then YOU be the one to determine your future.

So, tell me your thoughts.  Do you agree?  Disagree?  Am I way off, or can you relate to some of what I've said?  I also would love to know how you "set the re-set button" when you've slipped up, or are about to.  I go paint my finger nails.  It keeps my hands busy and forces me to leave the friggin Oreos alone so I don't smudge the paint.  That's usually enough time for me to gain some perspective and re-set.  What are your tactics?